Ohhhhh, Twoooo. There you are.

I'd forgotten about you, Two.  You're like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  So cute and sweet and full of wonder and delight and then *crash* you're glaring and dramatic and throwing an actual tantrum as you follow me to the bathroom. I'd be impressed by that if I wasn't so annoyed.  It's still better than Three because there's significantly less wonder and delight at three, but Two...oh, Two...you are rubbing me the wrong way this week.

*Two, you need to sleep until at least 7:00 a.m.  You're not going to bed at night until 8:00 lately so these 5:30 a.m. wake-up calls are unacceptable.

*Two, you don't need to scream for your mom right away. You don't live in a very big house and there's a monitor in your bedroom.  Even if you whispered "Mama", she would hear you and come get you.  (That's not true.  I wouldn't.  If you whispered, I would hear you and hope that you were talking in your sleep.)

*Two, you don't need to watch Elmo the second I lift you out of the crib.  However, if (when) you get your way and you cozy up in mom and dad's bed with Elmo on the tv at the lowest volume possible, please don't kick your mom with your scratchy toenails you inherited from your father.  It makes her want to kick back and while you don't get in trouble for that, it's frowned upon for moms.

*Also Two, keep your sippy cup upright.  When it tips over and a couple drops of juice spill onto your mom's side just as she has fallen back to sleep, it feels like ice cubes in her pjs and she wants to kick again.  And why you insist on yelling at your mom to take your sippy cup when it is 3/4 empty and not totally empty is beyond me.  Two, just hang onto it until it's all gone.  Then you won't have to yell at her to give it to you a few moments later.

*Two, all that noise wakes up your brothers every morning.  I know you want that time in mom and dad's bed all to yourself.   If you just watched your Elmo silently, they wouldn't wake up and pile into the bed, and you wouldn't have to scream, "NOOOOOO" every 20 seconds.

*Two, I also want to address your separation anxiety stage.  It's normal, I know that.  If I'm going downstairs to teach for a while or leaving you with a sitter, I expect a little crying.  But when I leave your side to get you juice or a snack in the kitchen, I know you can still see me.  Why are you crying and chasing me?  Let it be known, Two, that I wasn't a baby-wearer and I'm not going to start now.

*These up-before-the-sun mornings are also wreaking havoc on our daily plans, Two.  You keep falling asleep in the van for ten minutes while we're running errands and then you don't want to sleep in the afternoon.  Once you finally fall asleep, you take a really good nap that I have to cut short because it's time to pick up the boys at school.  And waking you up from a nap, Two?  Not fun.  Scary, actually.  Even the other moms at school can see they should give you some space after that.

I'd better wrap it up.  It sounds like you've fallen asleep.  Mama could use a nap as well before I put on my armor to wake you up.  Oh, Two, be grateful you are so cute.

In my defense, Two plus Six plus Eight plus Brian being in Australia for the past 10 days is making me borderline "No wire hangers!!!"  He'll be back on Sunday night and hopefully Nice Mommy will too.