Seriously, enough with the potty talk.

I live with three boys. Am I destined for a lifetime of farting, burping, and talking about farting and pooping? Seriously. Jackson is ALL about poop. He talks about it all the time like it HILARIOUS. I told him, "Dude, when YOU can poop on the potty I will let you talk about it all you want. But as long as I am wiping your stinky butt, I control the poop talk." Yeah, that'll work.

We are recovering from some sort of stomach bug. I got it first on Friday. Thankfully, the worst of it only lasted 24 hours. It was rough though. Brian had to work so I got to take care of the boys between trips to the bathroom. That was a real treat. It pissed me off actually. I needed some help and I was ticked at Kansas that I was too far away from anyone who could help me. Jackson had his turn on Saturday night. Also a treat. Every towel and sheet in the house was dirty by morning. Andrew had a mild version yesterday. He threw up once and then seemed fine. He had two really rough nights though...I don't know if it's tummy pain or teeth pain or just his usual nighttime personality. If it's the third option, I have had it. I have had maybe 9 hours of sleep total over the past two nights. I'm done. Anyway, Brian left yesterday morning for Baton Rouge until Tuesday night. He was just getting the symptoms as he left. I said, "Do you have to go to this thing? You're just going to get worse?" He said, "I just spent a shitload of money on this trip." I told him that was a bad choice of words. He was really sick by the time he got to his hotel. He's better today thankfully. That is not something I would want to experience on an airplane. At least Jackson wasn't with him. He'd be yelling, "P.U.! It smells like POOP IN HERE!"

On Saturday night I got to attend a DINING OUT night for the Fort Riley JAG office. Our friends Jen,Becca, and Jim were able to bring guests so they brought Kate, Anne, and myself. What an education. Most importantly, it was a dressy event so we got to wear pretty dresses and cute shoes and bags. After I transformed from Mom to Mom-pretending-she-wasn't-just-in-bed-with-the-stomach-flu-and-her-dress-is-a-little-tight-but-check-out-the-new-boobs-courtesy-of-a-great-push-up-bra, I made my entrance and Jack said: "Mama, you look like a pirate." If I was a balloon my head would have deflated like a balloon.

Anyway, we were all excited to the point of giddiness to go out together. The dinner was at the Manhattan Country Club and when we got there (ON TIME because this is the army. I LOVE that. My punctuality would have fit nicely in the military) we went through the receiving line and met several important people from Ft. Riley. The only name I remember is General Wiggins, and from what I understand, he is the top dog at Ft. Riley. There were about 100 people there as it was just for the JAG Office. I learned a lot about uniforms and what they mean, who wears what, and what different titles mean. Before dinner started there were a series of toasts that specific people made and that we responded to. One of the toasts is to fallen soldiers. For that toast you set down your wine glass and pick up your water glass but after the toast you raise the glass and don't drink out of it. There is also an empty table set for one to represent people who've died or who are missing. The water glass in inverted and the plate is empty, there is lemon on a saucer to represent the bitterness of the loss and salt to represent the tears of their family. The final toast is interesting. All the "ladies" sit down - even those in the army. Then a man makes a toast to the "ladies" and all the men enthusiastically respond, "TO THE LADIES!" It just surprised me. Our friend (Jen)leaves next week to bring her kids to Pennsylvania to live with her parents and then leaves for Iraq in a couple weeks. Jim leaves for Iraq in April. We all had a great time and I even did the Electric Slide with General Wiggins. It was the first song of the night and he and the other "top people" and their guests(I can't remember their actual titles) were the only ones dancing. I know the Electric Slide and thought that this was something I'd probably only get to do once with present company, so I joined them. I think there's some phone video floating around that I hope to get my hands on. I left early because Jackson was throwing up...Cinderella after the ball.

Sunday we were stuck in the house recovering. Kate came over and watched the Academy Awards with me. Love me some Hugh Jackman! He was a great presenter! I've seen some movie-officionados/snobs saying that they thought it was a horrible show but I was very entertained for almost the whole thing. I am on the fence with the way they presented the actors nominated for top awards. It was a real love fest and it seemed forced for some people. I hadn't seen any of the movies so I didn't really have an invested interest in any of it. But my fashion winner: Taraji Henson

Funniest moment: the video with James Franco and Seth Rogan laughing at The Reader. Hilarious!
Most awkward moment: Jennifer Anniston and the camera takes to Brangelina while she was presenting. I'm pretty sure they're over each other.
Best Acceptance speech: the guy (Dustin something) who wrote Milk.
Worst dress: Sofia Lorren. (SP?) Woah.

Kids are up. Kate coming over again tonight to watch The Bachelor with me.